A Suicide Note From Riyadh...

Now that you know I'm trapped sense of elation
You'd never dream of
Breaking this fixation
You will squeeze the life out of me

(Time Is Running Out: Sylvia Plath)

It seems, this is the feeling most of the people feel before committing suicide.

A girl named Shreya committed suicide in Riyadh, just two weeks before writing this article. Hailed from a country that contributes to more than 10% in the world’s suicide rate, this news was nothing new to me. I have learned to easily flip away through this type of news. However this teenager’s death somehow got into my mind until now.

I never knew the girl and her family but frequents with their family friends. The girl’s name is ‘Shreya’ as of my little one. People who conveyed the news to me assert that the deceased teenager was a smart girl with mastery in dance, anchoring and studies. However a casual scolding from her parents prompted her to take this deathly step.

It seems, Shreya never wanted to commit suicide. It seems she didn’t even put a loop at both ends of the shawl that she had used to hang herself. She was with an aim to scare her parents off and make them feel guilty for their scolding. But the time for her to complete the life had come at that moment.

We can in a way tell, “It’s all fate!” 

We can also tell, “These teenagers, they don’t even know the value of their parents’ love. How foolish!"

Almost all parents have these worries “The present day’s adolescents are changing. They don’t like advice. How can we correct them?”

Every day one or another teenager commits suicide for low marks in examination, love (infatuation?) failure, as result of scolding from parents and for reasons we can’t even imagine!!! The poor parents stand helpless mourning or dreading the loss of their most valuables.

Once a teenager commits suicide, there are many fingers that point towards parents too-for lack of attention, over expectation, over pampering etc... Some of them are well pointed out too. But one

aspect no one can deny. Most of the parents didn’t want the death of their teenager. Then where did they fail?

The Psychologists Foundation working in teenage suicide tendencies unanimously agree on an aspect of modern parents. They are confused parents! They don’t want to be dominating as their predecessors and act their best to be the pals of their children. They’ll play, sing, talk and do whatever they can do with the child. There may not be any restrictions till they reach their teenage.

However as the children step into adolescence most of the parents are scared. As they start to hear the modern teenage secrets, the old traditional parent takes a rebirth in them. They sometimes lose their tough challenge to be a pal for their kid and kick back! The trouble starts then! The teenager start to believe that they can no longer trust their parents and the rebellion begins.

There are many manuals that suggest how to deal with parent-teenage rifts. However many psychologists suggest that the dealings should start from the root. It’s always better to be an honest pal to your teenager than a good faced friend. Let your kid realize from the beginning that you also will get hurt, angry and unreasonable at times.  Even though you are ready to support them, let them realize they must plough their own fields. Let them understand that if they fall down, you’ll give them moral support to stand by themselves.

And please remember that I never lied
And please remember
how I felt inside now honey
You gotta make it your own way
But you'll be alright now sugar
You'll feel better tomorrow
Come the morning light now baby

(Guns n Roses: Sylvia Plath)

When the teenagers commit suicide, we tend to call them ‘irresponsible.’ They are not! They are ignorant than being ‘irresponsible.’ They haven’t seen the world other than their school, tuition centers, hang out places and homes. They feel that ‘it’s their life.’ They can’t imagine a world other than this! 

The best way to solve this dilemma is to ‘let them dream!’ Let them understand that teenage is the last step of their family life with you. Soon, they’ll have to fly out to make their own nests on new branches. If you encourage them to envisage a world of their own and work hard towards it, you can also ask them to put aside the recent troubles as thorns in the path.

Till now, I’ve spoken about how the parents should deal with the issue. But here is a short note for my little sisters and brothers too. It’s true that everyone in this world has thought about suicide at least once in their lives. However, if that thought strikes your mind, just think of a happy moment or dearest person in your life. It’s a very hard and courageous act to do, but tomorrow is yours!

Afterword: The God’s Own Country’s suicide rate is thrice to the national suicide rate. Everyday minimum 28 people commit suicide in Kerala.  However, thanks to the work of many social welfare organizations, mental health authorities and NGOs, the rate have reduced from 30.8 per Lakh (Hundred Thousand)  to 25.5/ Lakh(Hundred Thousand) during the period from 2003 to 2009. Let us hope that a suicide free society. (Courtesy: http://www.ksmha.org/suicide.html) 

This article has focused only on the teenage suicide tendencies.