Lessons of Unconditional Love

The beautiful concept of unconditional love always seemed to be a utopian idea for me. I had first heard of this concept from my close friend in Pondicherry. She had said:

                           The only unconditional love we get in this world is from our parents.            Even we are unable to love like that until we become parents. How beautiful it would have been if we love unconditionally!

I agreed and disagreed at the same time. Yes, my parents love me unconditionally. But at times, things fall apart too...

It’s true that we all wish to receive unconditional love. But how many of us can love like that? I was furious at the mention of unconditional love during a personality development course.  Our marital life was becoming a chaos owing to our failure in fulfilling some others’ expectations. The coordinator of the programme advised us:

                                       Accept the person as he/she is!

How??? That was the question that came first to my mind. The people who are troubling me don’t have any significance in my life. They have no use for me other than troubling me with their expectations and complaints. How can I love them?

The question still looms unanswered in my mind. However as years roll by, I have concurred that even though I don’t have to love them, I shouldn’t hate them. Hatred is such a poison that can black out our day to day activities. They are like me who demand to be loved unconditionally but who keep conditions for giving out their love.

It is then that I started wondering who love me unconditionally and whom I love like that! I and Sreejith have certainly reached a stage of acceptance. But; still do we love unconditionally? Do the outbursts of anger and arguments prove that we have still a long way to travel in the path? I don’t know...

There is no doubt that my mother loves me unconditionally. But do I love her so? If she turns a deaf ear to me on the next day or doesn’t fathom my anguishes as she does now or doesn’t forgive my mistakes, will I love her the same? The question is difficult to answer.

My little one with the innocent eyes loves us unconditionally and we do the same to her. Our hearts are those of parents and we feel the bliss of unconditional love with Shreya.  But how long will her love remain the same? She will move away from us as we had moved away from our parents. In this only case I am optimistic that we will love her unconditionally despite her mistakes.

How come I am so sure about the only and one unconditional love in my life? How can I love only one person in my life like that and not others? The reason lies in me. Though I don’t realize it at many times I view my baby as myself. Her worries, happiness, anger and dreams are my own. That bond didn’t come as an obligation but as a gift that I have chosen for myself.  I don’t feel the same feeling in other relationships where the bond didn’t come entirely as my choice.

I wanted some loving relationships to happen and tried relentlessly for it. My efforts got fulfilled when the other side also shared my wishes. However when my chosen persons didn’t share my wishes, clashes started to happen. Yes, the conditional love never happened in my life with others since a part in me didn’t choose them in my life.

Is it possible to have unconditional love for everyone in my life? Great people seem to possess that unique gift! As of now, I am far away from that caliber. Yet, I have at least one person whom I love unconditionally, two or three others who are part of me, some others who make my life blooming and others who test my strive to love everyone.