Flicker of a Firefly

 From the poem Flicker of a Firefly

It was our first night at Doha. Shreya was dripping into sleep. Owing to her complaint on not able to sleep, we switched off the light. In the air conditioned darkness of Grand Regency, I was cradling her to sleep, when a light flickered out. 

At first I was concerned about Shreya’s sleep to notice, where the light had come from. She was deep in sleep when I looked up to see the source of light. It was a firefly! I had never expected any insects and upon that a firefly in that room.  Memories flooded and I was captured in the wave of nostalgia.

Fireflies were the common flying lights with which my muthassan had distracted me from my childhood tantrums. Many of my childhood friends were scared of the fireflies. They were told that fireflies would serve as the lantern for thieves in dark nights. I never heard this story until I reached school. By then, I had started to love those flying sparkles. 

Once, my Achan had helped me to catch one of those fireflies.  I expected a crystal insect on my palm. To my surprise, they were not beautiful crystal insects but ash coloured insects with a pitiful expression.

They were so common that I barely noticed their beauty as I grew up. Yet in some dark nights, I used to see them flying in our yard. During the dark evenings of Kerala monsoon they seemed to evoke some kind of happiness in the otherwise gloomy air. Somehow, I remember the air they floated in blue grey shade. I still don’t know whether it was the creation of my mind, or it was a result of the beautiful blue flicker of the firefly.

Anyway, a firefly’s presence was something that I never expected in the Grand Regency of Doha. I had never thought of fireflies much but never hoped to see them in a desert and amidst a bustling city. Fireflies are always associated with calm, serene and silent household to me.

                                                                                       ***

Sreejith came out from the bath and switched on the lights. The flood of light shut out the flicker of the firefly. Shreya was deep asleep. As I arranged my pillows and cushions, I looked around the room for the grey insect. It was nowhere to seen. 

We switched off the lights and sleep forcibly closed my eyes. I never knew whether the flicker had started behind my closed eyelids.