Clay Modelling: Through The Eyes Of two Generations!

Before one year, I never even thought that, I’ll repeat the same lines that my parents told me. “In my childhood days I had to contend with this, that and what all God knows! Now, see what all luxuries you’ve got!" I told this line for the first time to little Shreya, when I picked the readymade clay for her.

“I used to make my hands dirty with the clay we used to pick the farm fields. We had to make dolls out of that, coloured them with rice, turmeric and green leaves. Now see, you are lucky enough to have readymade and colourful clay to play with!”

Little Shreya blinked at me with uncomprehending eyes. Now, well it is time for me to instruct her on little things.

The colourful clay boxes lay unopened for almost three weeks in Shreya’s cupboard. As she explored her other toys and sent one after another to the waste basket, the clay boxes had a safe position. So, I took responsibility to show her the first steps of clay modelling.

Now, as I opened the first box, a sudden flash of memories whipped me into my childhood. -Clay modelling was a trend among the children in our neighbourhood just as painting, drawing, sculpture etc. Being the two girls to represent the woman power in our neighbourhood, I and my sister had actively participated in these interests of boys in our company.

There was one boy named Biju who was a master in these arts. He always excelled in every art mentioned above. I used to envy as ducks, houses, birds and flowers got lives in clay through his fingers. He was also a good drawer and painter too. While others also fairly managed these arts, I was the weakling among them and the prime focus for others to feel confident about their own talents.

However, there were always elders in our neighbourhood to encourage my interests. They heartily congratulated me for making a ball out of clay while I actually made a human head or making a tray which I intended to become a flower etc. Soon, I realized these realms of arts are so sour and kept myself away from these. I became a good critic of these art forms in this process. -

Now, I found it time to try my hands at clay modelling again, to bring Shreya’s interest in this art. I really hoped that time must have ameliorated my skills. The model took form in violet and pink clay. I gave the final touches with the orange clay and showed the finished art form to Shreya.

Shreya was truly thrilled. She well-liked my art and clapped in appreciation while yelling ‘Kaakkaa”(Crow). “Hmmm... Not bad” I thought of myself! Even when two generations analyze my skill at clay modelling there is no change! I had intended to may make human figure and at least it turned out to be a bird for Shreya. I am happy.

P.S: As Shreya comes of age, I’ll definitely send her a good tutor to try her hands at clay modelling. If she turns out be like me, no worries! Then, daughters may not be like theirs mothers too....

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Are You Feeling Guilty?

I don’t know whether this feeling got hold of me only or anyone else! For the past few months, at the end of each day, I used overwhelmed by this feeling-guilt!

Guilt on the fact that I left behind so many tasks unfinished- I haven’t played for a quality time with little Shreya, nothing has been studied as planned, no exercise has been done as planned, no prayers have been offered as planned, no phone calls been made as planned, nothing has been written as planned etc...

Guilt on the fact that I let my mood swings control me at many times-I yelled at Shreya for simple things, I let bad experiences from the past dominate my mind to screw up many of my quality time, I scorned my husband for things for which others were responsible, I hate people for forcing their opinions on me etc. Overall, by the end of the day, I felt tired of being guilty for making everything wrong!

I attributed this guilty feeling at first to my ‘new sitting at home’ status. Then, I started worrying about why this feeling ever let me free. I tried to distract myself by reading spiritual books, watching movies, cooking experiments and engaging completely in household chores. However, at the end of each day, the feeling of guilt grew stronger.

The situation got worsened by people who tried to force their way of living for me. Though, I didn’t seek opinion from anyone, many considered it as their duty to educate me on the roles of a homemaker as opposite to that of a career woman. I must confess that life was in a chaos at that time. I tried to perfect in everything and even a small suggestion for improvement made me nervous. I even started considering my life as futile and failure.

Thanks to the many books that I’ve read during this time, I decided to give myself a second try. As a first step, I avoided all the rules and regulations set to me by myself in order to please others. I was ready to become a ‘bad woman’ as some people might call me. I stopped making conversation with people who might crush my spirit, I started taking some leisure time of my own, I started viewing Shreya as another being, who can spend at least some time in a day by herself and finally I accepted myself with all my follies.

I realize that I am not an angel and not expect to make any mistakes. I am a common human being in flesh and blood, who cherishes the close knit family, rejoices the company of like-minded friends and loved ones, feels happy to get noticed, gets proud in own talents, keeps the grudge in mind, avoids people possessing nagging manoeuvres, hides the little inferiority complexes and over all learns many lessons through mistakes.

As of now, I am contend the way I am! Tomorrow, I may get again upset with these traits of mine and I may struggle to change myself also. However, I think, I’ve learnt the basic lesson now. Overcome the feeling of guilt! I don’t want anyone to consider me as angel with no follies. I have my negative side as well kept as my positive traits. I am not ashamed of that. More than that, I am proud about what I am and always will be.

P.S: I never wanted to write these feelings in public. However, as I was chatting with a younger (in age) friend of mine, she confessed many of her similar dilemmas to me. She says that she overcame those negative feelings after I shared mine with her. She asked me to write this and this is for you my dear friend 

My Games Have Started....

Yeah, it was my weekend outing! Weekend outings are one of its own, in this place. I always want to be out, whereas amma always keep me behind the doors; except for two three hours in a day. That’s why I look forward for weekend outings, where I can spend the whole evening, outdoors.

Yesterday, Achan and amma took me to Al-Jazeera mall. On my way, I badly wanted to test the mechanism of A/C switches in my car. But amma was successful in distracting me by pointing out something or other. She was blabbering all through the way and I kept myself so still . I was in the hope that she’ll stop as soon as she sees my lack of enthusiasm. I was wrong about that! She mistook my lack of enthusiasm as my attention to her words and kept on blabbering.

So, I decided to be with Achan as I entered the Al-Jazeera mall. He is also a good chatterbox, but I was so bored with amma’s blabbering. I enjoyed the shopping time in my favorite trolley and tried to get hands at every little fascinating thing that comes on my way. Finally, I managed with a box of M&M chocolates.

I was sad that we were returning back as Achan and amma had shoved the shopping bags into the car. That is then that they announced the wonderful news. They are taking me to the play area above Al-Jazeera Mall. Wow! I can’t wait to play.

It was a magic world to see. As soon as we entered, I saw so many friends traveling in revolving tea-cups, sailing in boats, riding in cars, hopping in umpteen things, riding round and round on horseback, jumping up and down with balls and revolving with bees.

As Achan and amma were discussing on which would be apt for me, I was absolutely positive about everything. Since they won’t understand my language, I pointed at the nearest one. A boy and girl were riding round and round on a horseback and a bee. Achan put me next to them and I was soon riding on a pink swan. After two-three rounds, I could not see anything and I had to cry.....Achan took me down from the swan.

That is when Achan and amma thought that a ride in a static car will entertain me. Well, I liked the red car and its seat. But as soon as the car started somebody shouted from it in an unknown language and car tried to throw me out. Oh, I don’t want to ride in that rude car any more. Achan’s car is anytime better than this one.

Then amma had her own idea. She wanted me to revolve with the bees. I was tired and didn’t want to do that. I bet, she would have revolved with the bees, if her size matched mine. As soon as she put me in I was shouting at her. She took me out and put another girl who was watching our tantrum. Thankfully the girl enjoyed the ride with the bees and amma enjoyed watching it. Big deal!

Then Achan and amma started...They were teasing me for crying out during the games. I am not a cry baby and they know it well. Thankfully we were out of that area and going to amma’s favourite restaurant.

Now, as we reached the restaurant play area, there was a slider waiting for me. As soon as amma and Achan showed it to me, I just loved this slider. Now, I wanted to show that I can play games. I started sliding then again, again, again and again... Guess what? As food arrived amma jumped for it and they soon found my gaming so distracting. Poor Achan had to come in between the meals to take me out. I felt kind for him and finally went and sat with them in the dining area. We left the restaurant by 11p.m. Achan and amma have promised me that they will take me again for the games. Here, my games have started!

Love
Shreya

I Got My Sunshine...

Saari Umr Hum
Mar Mar Ke Jee Liye
Ek Pal To Ab Humein
Jeene Do Jeene Do

Give Me Some Sunshine
Give Me Some Rain
Give Me Another Chance
I Wanna Grow Up Once Again

Bachpan To Gaya
Jawani Bhi Gayi
Ek Pal Toh Ab Humein

Jeene Do Jeene Do

I am a late bird to watch the so much hyped Bollywood film 3 Idiots. What should I say about the film? Thought provoking? Commercial? Entertaining? Dragging.....?Anyway, I am not going to talk about the movie here. What touched me the most in the movie was the above quoted lyrics!

As per my experience, I am sure; there won’t be a single person on this earth who hasn’t felt as expressed in the above lines. So often I used to feel that “Give me another chance to born again, so that I won’t repeat the mistakes that I have committed so far in life.”

I used to feel that my life is miserable and used to wonder “why I always?” In the past, present and future, I cannot see my life to be perfect! Even when I repair the considered weak points in my life, it cannot be completely perfect.

I really wonder, if there is a single person, who considers their life to be 100% perfect. Some people call me loveable, loyal friend, capable, caring and intelligent of which I am very proud at. There are others who call me distant or aloof, lazy, uncaring or boring, of which I get depressed. Upon these there are others who give compliments just to get their profits from me. Why should I allow others to control my life?

Life can be different if I start to do things consciously and without even controlling it. As the great master Osho had pointed out -I should not suppress my emotions. I would rather put out. But all I’ve to do is to do it with alertness and consciousness. As anger grips me, I should realize that I am getting angry. I should be conscious of it. So I pour the anger out to drain of the negative emotions that I feel.

After a point in my life, I realized that even I have the power within me too. I should not be at the victim point, when I have the power to resist the negative pull happening in my life. There are people like Jane¹ who can make my mind painful through negative words and experiences. However, as I discover my triggering power, I can be a protecting shield like Bella²that makes not only me but also my loved ones safe.

This is a realization that makes my days filled with sunshine. I don’t want another chance to born again and grow since I believe “Everything happened for something good. Agonies can dissipate from my life and I can feel the sunshine or rain in life with equal warmth.

Jane: Jane is a Vampire that first appears in Stephanie Meyer’s Bestseller Twilight: New Moon. She has the power to inflict pain on others with her looks. The victim will get evoked of the negative feelings in his/her life and will be automatically fragile.

Bella: Bella is the heroine in Stephanie Meyer’s Bestseller Twilight series. She is unaware of her power to resist negative emotions till the emergency arises. She becomes a protecting shield for her loved ones against Jane’s attack.

Seder Village: The First Impression!

The compounds in Riyadh were primarily started by the British expatriates of the country. The quality lifestyle in each compound boasts almost all the trendy aspects of modern life, protected by a tight security. Within the city one can experience an altogether different social culture being in a compound community.

It was my first visit to one of the compounded communities of Riyadh. So much has heard about its exotic facilities, ever since I planned to migrate from India to Saudi Arabia. Curiosity definitely triggered me to accept an invitation to the Seder village.

As we entered the Seder Village, I was actually entering a world that is read only in English novels. This might be another experience for people who have travelled into western countries. But for a person like me, the experience was totally new.

Fabricated houses and neatly kept gardens adorned both sides of our driveway. Though we were visiting at a night time, I could imagine the shaded walkways protected by the entangling treetops during the daytime. The weather was pleasantly chill as we got out of our car.

After the welcome pleasantries the hosts invited us to spend some candlelit moments in their back garden. If the God has a way of showing himself through simple ways, this was one among those ways. The beauty of the garden accentuated by the candlelight was of meditative quality. I broke my silent contemplation at times to chat with my friendly hosts. But, the chilled weather, Shreya’s pranks, my job discussions...all went without even touching my rejuvenating mood. All I can say that it was a memorable night out.

Now, considering the question on whether I would like to get a house there, my answer would be ‘No.’ There is no doubt that the ambience is truly enchanting. The coffee mornings/evenings are definitely a tempting factor. However some moments have to be cherished in the mind and not as a possession. For a claustrophobic person like me, small and congested interior rooms with a low roof are definitely a turn off. As of now, I am happy with where I stay. After all, that contentment should be there, right?
****

Seder Village: It is situated at the Al-Khaleej area at Salman al Farsi Road. The place offers Western lifestyle for its residents. Set amongst the warmth of nature, the compound provides accommodation away from the hustle and bustle of the city.

Coffee Mornings/Evenings: It is the shopping session for the members of a compound. In this shopping session, members from the other compounds will be invited to sell their items. In the compounds of Jeddah, the coffee morning/evening sessions are known to be the get together of homemakers either for breakfast or for evening tea.

Scary Stories Of Saudia

‘Saudi Arabia’- the name of the country itself scares many people around the world. When many of my friends and well wishers considered visiting the country itself a nightmare, destiny made me courageous to visit its capital city-Riyadh. Soon I was willingly falling into its lazy and relaxed life.

Air conditioned rooms, easy availability of all my favourite cuisines, a room with large windows to read in comfort, a home theatre to watch the latest movies, cosy bed to curl on in the afternoons, the large room to chat with the visitors, a good internet connection to chat with my friends back at home, a treadmill to work out whenever I feel to keep my shape, a room full of toys for me and little Shreya to explore, a good park just outside our apartment for evening walks, our shopping sessions in different malls, no nosy business to hamper our family life...what else I want to enjoy the life out here?

However, this comfort zone got alerted even before I begin to enjoy it. Two days back, Sree came home with a swollen face. When some of the native youth found it fun to throw rotten eggs at non-Arabs walking on their roads, he was one among the many victims whom they targeted on. Nobody attacked him in particular. He was just another victim of racial attack against the non-Arabs in Saudi Arabia.

We were definitely shaken to alert our friends and relatives here. Soon, the real stories were unveiling. It was just at the entrance of our flat that the Arabs manhandled our previous owner. They put him at knife point and looted all the money, mobile, groceries and wristwatch that he carried.

Our elder friends had another story to share. When they had a get together once, someone tipped them off to the Mutavas (Moral/Religious Police). The severe punishment followed in the form of beatings on our friends’ backs. The victims included elderly people above 70 years of old and even a Professor who taught the Princes at the King Saud University.

***

Now, with all these I was actually shivering when I was waiting for Sree in the safety of our locked car at the parking lot. I was breathing a sigh of relief as he started the car... Bang! Our car had hit another one, just in front of us! I could see three young Arabs jumping out of the car. This was the moment I always scared! I knew our story is ending here...

Then...My vision was blurred as they were shaking hands with Sree. They all had smiling faces, in total contrast to the cony faces, I always imagined. They were friendly as we waited for the traffic police. Of course the mistake was on our side and we had to settle their damage through the insurance. But...the victims are Arabs! We are at Riyadh! Still we are left safe with a hit on our car!!!

This incident was an eye opener for me. Would we’ve left this easy, after a similar encounter with natives of Bangalore? Is India more safe than Saudi with natives attacking people coming from other states? Though we had no personal physical attack at Bangalore, I had been the victim of verbal racial attacks from some natives of Bangalore. Also some our friends had attacked physically by Bangalore natives too.

I have this solace now. No place is immune to troubles. At the same time I can find some rays of happiness at all places too. The happiness may be a mirage in the desert, but each and everyone has their own thread to cling onto a place. Once we find this thread, no scary story will stop you from enjoying the life out there.

Wherever I live in, that place doesn’t belong to me forever. I had left my birthplace and arrived at a new place. I had perceptions about the new place inscribed in my mind by others .I grew my own concepts about this new place during the stay out there and started to feel it as a home away from home. Soon, I had to leave the place to another new one. Here I am ready to impart my prescriptions about the place to its newcomers. The process continues...