Rain in Riyadh!

There was a rain to refresh the dusty soil of Riyadh yesterday! The clouds started gathering by afternoon and I had closed the windows in fear of sand storm. Then by late afternoon I heard the little chatter at my windowpanes. The water was splashing out in its full glory.

The Bitter gourd vein at my window sill

The potted plants at my windowsill that I had forgotten to water in the morning lifted their head in merry. The bitter gourd veins extended their slender hands out into the air. I always wondered about them. They always used to grow back out of the sun. Here they were soaking each of their leaves in little droplets.

I woke Shreya from her afternoon nap and took her out. All along the four corridors surrounding the middle courtyard of our apartment I saw familiar faces. Mothers like me are enjoying with their little ones. Be it from India, Pakistan, Bangladesh or Saudi Arabia; here the threads of rain evoke the same feeling.

The rain in a desert certainly has a beauty of its own. The rain becomes so refreshing when it comes unexpected.

The Riyadh rain is so different from the rain I’ve seen at Kerala, Pondicherry and Bangalore. Here the rain comes silently. One has to wait for it and keep the eye open for it to see its silver line dropping down. The rain neither makes the music as the Kerala monsoon nor does it celebrate its arrival with violent thunder or lightening as the Pondicherry rain. 

Unlike the uncertain and overwhelming Bangalore rain, Riyadh rain is so silent, may be attributing its character to the traditional native women. It doesn’t even bang against the windowpane to announce its arrival. The sky will be dark for a long time. Newcomers like me might close the doors and windows thinking that the dark sky is an announcement for the oncoming sandstorm. I had missed the Riyadh rain like this for so many times. 

Once you see the Riyadh rain it’s a treat for anyone who loves the rain. Before we notice the silver lines, the refreshing smell of rain on the dry sand will evoke us. The silver threads will drop for minutes clearing the sky into a bright array of dazzling colours. The sunshine will clear the water, leaving a refreshing feel into the minds of those who watched the nature’s performance.

The doves on our windows will dry their feathers and fly to their next destinations. The sunny day will come back as if there was no dark sky or silver line drops. Then again I would keep watch for the next rain that may come and go in silence.

The Kick of Cricket

If I tell that I had enjoyed any sports that may be the perfect example of oxymoron for anyone who is near to me for the past one decade. Yet, I enjoyed the grand finale of ICC World Cup 2011! I used to watch some cricket matches on and off during the last years. However when the Indian team kissed the Cricket World Cup 2011, memories flooded in me of a time when I scheduled my routines in accordance to the cricket matches.

In my childhood days I just hated the cricket matches. Since my childhood companions were boys, the telecast of cricket match meant the day ahead would be a lonely one. The one who drove me close to the cricket matches was my best friend during the growing up years.  Our friendship grew on the soil of cricket talks and we used to wait for any cricket matches. Far away from the knowledge of cricket technicalities, our favourite team always remained to be the Indian cricket team. When Sachin always reigned as the hero, I favoured Anil Kumble and my friend favoured Ajay Jadeja. 

The 1996 Wills World Cup was the first ever Cricket series that I had watched full length. I was drawn to the magic of the match at that time and even remember praying for the victory of India on an everyday basis. But, as all of us know, India had failed in the semi finals. When the upset fans threw plastic bottles onto the field after the failure of the Indian team, I felt the same agitation. Yet I never lose interest in the sport. The interest in Cricket remained intact and I started to watch all the telecasted cricket matches in DD1.

During all this time, Cricket was not a favourite in my home and I was happy to watch the cricket matches without commentaries.  My interest was rewarded at times as Anil Kumble took 10 wickets against Pakistan in a Test innings of 1999. If I search my cupboards at home, I may still find the newspapers of those days, where this news covered.

The 1999 Cricket world cup happened in the prime days of my Pre University final exams and the hot season of medical entrance examination. During the peak hours of exam I watched the matches only in chosen parts as Sachin or Ajay Jadeja batting and Anil Kumble bowling. In that World Cup, India went of the series without even reaching the semi-finals.

Soon after the 1999 Cricket World Cup ended, there came out the scandal of match fixing. Just like many other cricket fans I was shocked to learn the ugly side of the sports as Indian cricket team captain Mohammed Azharuddin and Ajay Jadeja was thrown out of the team.  About that time I started feeling the futility of wasting my time for such petty things. I lost interest in the game once again and soon find interest in new things of life.

After my marriage, I started watching Cricket on and off. Though my husband was an ardent fan of cricket, I at times felt like throwing a stone at the screen for taking away our time together.  My interest in Cricket never remained intact. 

When the World Cup 2011 began, I was actually relieved that I am at Riyadh and our television network doesn’t cover the series. I couldn’t really fathom Sreejith’s disappointment for losing the chances to watch the matches.  Even when he asked me to come with him to watch the semi-final between India and Pakistan at a friend’s house, I preferred to sit at home than wasting my time there. Yet, I went to watch the finals. There was no tension as I watched the match since I wasn’t in favor of any team. Yet the moment India won and players started to carry Sachin around the stadium, something stirred in me.  

Yes, India has won the World Cup after 28 years! Sachin Tendulkar is in the winning team of Cricket World Cup after 21 years of his Cricket career. I felt that the victory had happened just for him. More than I felt happy and proud for my nation, I felt happy and proud for him. He deserves it than anyone else!

All others in the room were rejoicing the victory of the World Cup when I lost in these musings. When I looked around, I missed my friend. I missed the times we discussed cricket with such fervor.  I missed my lost interest in the game. Still, when there is a cricket match in the next time, I may not run away from it. The kick of World cup victory may sustain me for some days...

Afterword: India won the first World Cup when I was one year old. India won the second World Cup when my daughter is two years old. Will India have to wait for the next World Cup till my grandchild is three years old? (Sorry for the cheesy lines, but I couldn’t help it.)

My Birthday Contradictions

My Birthday Cake

It was my birthday on the previous day. My dear ones started wishing me happiness and good luck since the clock ticked on to the day. The day went very well with happy moments with Sreejith and Shreya; merry talks with my family, loving wishes from my dear ones and a memorable birthday dinner.

Anyone can call me vain to take happiness from these celebrations when many people go unattended on this day. But I look forward to these loving gestures and caring on my birthday even when I tell ‘no, no’ at times. They make me feel alive, happy and merry, for this is a day that the God has chosen for me.

Amma used to tell a lot about my birth. In those days she had done no scanning prior to her delivery and they were expecting twins due to the weight of the unborn baby. Due to the taste of her pregnancy craving, the women in the village also had predicted that the baby would be a boy. There, I was born miscalculating all predictions. 

I was born at 5.45 am exactly at the time of sunrise on that day. My mother still nurture the belief that I’ve the caliber of a rising sun that I would be really smart, caring and will come out from troubles shining. I still haven’t told her that someone had accused me in the later years of my life that I’m a disgrace for such kids born in the early morning hours; since I’m lazy, cold and aloof. Well, as for me I am neither over smart nor lazy but just capable of surviving. I am caring to those whom I care for and aloof to those who irritate me. One thing for sure is that I struggle my best to come out from troubles! In this case I definitely cannot be compared with the rising sun.

It seems, my mother held me to her chest and uttered a small prayer in my little ears soon within an hour of my birth. I don’t know what she prayed. When she saw me hours later the delivery, I had both my little hands in mouth. My hunger was insatiable in the younger age and she had spent many sleepless nights trying to comfort me. Now, when I am with her, she tries to revoke my hunger with her culinary experience. But I feel that my hunger- physical as well as emotional- has reached a controllable stage.

Many people were not so happy with my birth. I cannot blame them since a second baby girl brings an unhidden sorrow to many faces even on these days. But there were also people who just loved me and loaded me with caring only for this status. My maternal grandmother was one among them. I still faintly remember her words:

You shouldn’t cry when you fall down. You are the second girl in the family. No one will be there to wipe your tears and you’ll have to shamefully do it yourself. Better put a brave face and be courageous.

 Her words were not entirely true. There were people who wiped my tears when I cried. But may be because of the impact of those words, I always preferred not to show my tears to anyone unless my tear glands betrayed me.

My mother was alone with me in hospital ward on the night of my birth. Naturally I was unaware of her feelings and might have snuggled comfortably in her warmth. This may be the reason I might have felt a protective comfort from none other than her in my life. But today when I am with my family there are other two precious ones in my life who came later in my life but gave me almost the same feeling.

In the next morning of my birth, the room might have crowded with the visitors who wanted to have the first look at me. But the day of my birth was over! Unlike my birth day, my birthdays in the following years had well wishers and loving ones whose number grew consistently. As my last birthday got over, I felt that there are only contradictions on the day as compared to my day of birth. All over, life is nothing but a phenomenon with contradictions, right?

Through the Memory Line of Kathakali

The navarasas:  love, contempt, sorrow, fury, courage, fear, disgust, wonder, peace.

 In dance as in life, we do not need more than nine ways to express ourselves. You may call these the nine faces of heart.

In time each one of them would remember it differently. But for as long as they lived, it wouldn’t ever that fade: the memory of that moment of grace.

                                                                  (p.1) Mistress By Anita Nair

I’ve just started reading Anita Nair’s novel Mistress and got stuck in the cover page itself. The cover page is of Kathakali¹, the very own art form of my birth place. It was an art form that I enthusiastically watched during my childhood and put in the back corner in the following years. Still, when I hear someone talks about Kathakali my ears go to it without even understanding the main share of the conversation.

Shaantam²

The deafening and enticing music, the feeling of tender breeze on a hot summer night, the glimpses of mythical characters in bright costumes before my little sleepy eyes, the eager faces of my beloved ones to watch the performance, the soft whisper of Valiamman³  or Amma⁴ explaining each of the movements,  the drip into sleep during the early hours of dawn, the sleep on sweet smelling  grass and soft prickling sand and finally the faint feeling of my beloved ones' protective hands around me with the rhythm of music. My first childhood memories of the great art of Kathakali are these.

I never realized the greatness of Kathakali as an art form in my childhood days. It was just an art to pass time as movies and film music. Amma used to talk about it as fluently as she tells anything about a movie. At my Ammath⁵, the only music that one can hear was those of Kathakali songs or Carnatic music. The Mathrubhumi weekly that I regularly followed in those days always carried articles or autobiographies of Kathakali artists. Naturally, the aesthetic taste for Kathakali seemed to be so natural at that time. I was familiar with the names of Pattikkamthodi Asan, Ramankutty Asan, Kalamandalam Gopi Asan and Kottkkal Sivaraman as I am with Mohanlal, Mammootty, and Amitabh Bachchan etc in these days.

I remember the performance days when Nelliodu Vasudevan Nambudiri, his son and his daughter Maya took rest at our home. I was so excited to meet them as I get a chance to meet film stars. As the father, son and daughter took new roles Dussana, Roudra Bhima and Draupadi in Duryodhana Vadham⁶, I actually wondered on their wonderful talent to change from soft-spoken personas in real life to the powerful or violent characters on the stage.  

Karunam⁷

Days passed and so changed my interests too. After the loss of my grandparents, Amma didn’t try to make any possible excuse to visit Ammath. Thus, reduced my chances to watch Kathakali performances and to get authentic comments on it from Valiammaman. Amma kept her natural interest in the art, watching the performances on TV or by visiting any nearby performances. The performances on the TV were less interesting for me than the live shows. I accompanied her on some live performances and soon stopped as other things in life took my priority. The last performance, for which I went there was a rain and I remember taking shelter on the stage itself!

The scene from Duryodhana Vadham

Very soon, my interest in the Kathakali decreased to the diminishing point. However a spark of interest lay under the ashes. That may be the reason that I found the lyrics in Duryodhana Vadham⁸, where Draupadi addresses Lord Krishna as a friend to help her in keeping her vows became so dear to me. For years I played and replayed the Padam⁹ ‘Pari Pahi Mam Hare¹⁰,’ whenever there was a slight reason to worry. Miraculously the lyrics and the voice of Sri Venmani Haridas in this padam used to revive my spirits.

Haasyam¹¹, Raudram¹², Beebhalsam¹³ & Veeram¹⁴

In life you won’t be enjoying the same pleasures at every time. When you are in bad times, you might feel intolerable for everything you had in your good times. So felt me too. At first, fear kept me close with prayers and devotional music. Later, when life started to take me through the roller coaster drive, I felt furious and disgusted! At this time, my faith in Lord Krishna swayed to the root and even in my interest in music stopped. I didn’t listen to music for years. 

Sringaaram¹⁵

There is a turning point for every good or bad event in life.  After the storms the sky became clear with the radiance of love in my life. That’s when we met some people who are madly in love with the art of Kathakali. Though we were not discussing the art during our meetings, the hidden interest started to spark again in me. I watched two-three performances again on TV and realized that I can’t understand even a bit of the story without assistance.

There are many people in my generation who finds the interest in this art form trendy and pursue it with attentive efforts. But, where did I leave my interest in this art? 

Adbhutham¹⁶

Kathakali performances not much interest me as it did in my childhood days. I still love the ‘Padams’ but far away from the aesthetic sense to Kathakali that my family possess. I still have the respect for the art but can’t decipher its intricate forms. I still marvel some stories that are too familiar to me. When I see notifications for any Kathakali performances in nearby auditoriums, my heart longs to see the performance, though I cannot make it at many times. 

Even then, sometimes I hear the loud music and see glittering images of Kathakali in my dreams. I wonder is this because the spark of interest for this art, passed through my lineage lies dormant in me!

 Glossary

1. Kathakali: It’s not easy to give an explanation for Kathakali in a short paragraph. Born in Kerala during 17^th century, this art form comprises many other art forms in it such as dance, music, instrumental music, make up etc. In earlier days, Kathakali used to be performed in temples but now has got stages in auditoriums and abroad too. You may get more authentic information here (http://www.kathakali.info/)
2. Shaantham: The literal translation of the Malayalam word can be peaceful detachment. This is a form of expression in Kathakali. In the present context the word implies blissful detachment from worldly affairs due to childhood ignorance.
3. Valiammaman: Eldest maternal uncle
4. Amma: Mother
5. Ammath: Grandmother’s house
6. Duryodhana Vadham: This story comprises the final events in Mahabharatha. The events include Duryodhana’s visit to Indraprastha, his humiliation, the planned dice game, the insult of Draupadi, her vow to tie her hair with Dussana’a blood, Lord Krishna’s visit to Duryodhana as a messenger, the war between Dussana and Bhima, Draupadi fulfilling her vow and Bhima being blessed by Lord Krishna.
7. Karunam:  The literal translation for the Malayalam word Karunam is mercy or kindness. It can also mean sorrow in Kathakali and so is implied in the present context.
8. Duryodhana Vadham: Same as in 6
9. Padam: Padam means lyrics or music used in a Kathakali. The music for a story is usually referred as Kathakali Padam.
10. Pari Pahi Mam: This is a beautiful scene in Duryodhana Vadham. In this story, Draupadi addresses Lord Krishna as a friend and request him to help her keeping the vow. She is sceptical that her husbands may agree for reconciliation if Duryodhana inclines for it and forget about her vow. So she beseeches Krishna that he should go after seeing the pitiable state of her hair after the vow and should do his part to commence the war.
11.  
12. Haasyam 12.Raudram 13.Bheebhalsam 14. Veeram: These expressions in Kathakali means Contempt or mockery, fear or anger, disgust or dangerous and courage or valour respectively. In Kathakali as in life, these expressions signify bad times. In the present context, they imply the idea that I felt fear and disgust at the initial stage of my bad days that turned into contempt in the later days. However it required ample courage to save myself from these negative auras.

15. Sringaaram: Many of you may not need explanation for this word since in any language one might learn the word for love.

16. Adbhutham: The literal translation for this word means wonder or surprise. In the present context the expression indicates my wonder at the curious ways of life.

A Love Note to the Confused Couple

My dearest friends,

Today is Valentine’s day, a day to celebrate love. I had actually planned to write one short write up for my blog about this day, but left the idea later. However, both of you are in my mind for the past few days and the previous night, I decided to write for you in my blog as a Valentine’s Day special.

Since this is a public forum I keep your identities as a secret. Therefore I’ve decided to address you as Mr. and Ms. as I’ve never addressed you in real life.

I’ve talked with you for ample time in the past week about what’s going on in your life. Both of you’ve told me your concerns and feelings. I still don’t know where you have reached! I know both of you ‘Love’ (It’s such a strong word) each other but confused and scared...

Both of you are confused and scared because of your past. Interestingly you’ve the same concerns about moving further in your love for each other. Your fear makes you blind of the real love that you feel.

Just imagine yourself in your college days. If you’d felt this love in those days, would you put it aside by being practical? You must’ve gone against the world to make it fulfilled. I know that times have changed and both of you are scalded with the unfortunate incidents in life. So many people have troubled you in life. But why do you hesitate when life tries to mend its austerity by bestowing the best people in your life?

As from my experience, life won’t give you many chances to find solace and happiness. If you don’t make a correct move at the correct moment, you might have to travel a long way as in peak hours of Bangalore traffic (sorry for the bad joke). Both of you wish this to happen, but think too much to complicate the issues.

I agree that this is your life and you’ve to think practically. But how much will you know about a new person if you want to get married to her/him? Both of you know each other for years! Both of you know each others' bright and dark sides. Both of you know that marriage won’t be a flower strewn path but will be pricked with thorns also. In that case, why don’t you try to cross the hurdles together to get united?

I know Mr. that you consider Valentine’s Day as just another day in a year. Yet, don’t you think that you can make this one special? Ms. I know that you always cherish some special days. I don’t know your view on Valentine’s Day but why don’t you have an open talk with him today? Now, if you’ve already planned something like that, I’m sorry! It’s not because I’ve asked him/her to do so. That shows his/her real concern to you.

So far, I’ve supported (or persuaded?) you. Let me confess that I’m not being nosy but concerned about both of you. Yes, I’ve a selfish motive too that I won’t lose you as friends after you get married. Now, if you ask me to stop this preaching, this is the last one from me.

Jokes apart, if you’ve decided to let go this love unnoticed, I may consider that as a right decision too. That’s again because; both of you each know each other well than I know you. You might have had an open talk and realized the real hurdles that cannot be removed from reaching your goal. There may be something that you cannot compromise to each other. Even then, I and Sreejith will be there for you as good friends. Whatever your decision may, we are there with you.

Happy Valentine’s Day!

Note: If anyone else other than the people mentioned above, happens to read this article, please feel free to pass your comments. But, I’m sure that I won’t disclose their identities and any more details :)

The ‘Expecto Patronums’ In My Life!

Before I start, let me just educate those who haven’t gone through J.K.Rowling’s famous Harry Potter series about “Expecto Patronums.’  ‘Expecto Patronus’ is supposed to be the most powerful and difficult task of magic in the wizard world of Harry Potter. This magic is used against the evil creatures or soul named Dementors in the wizard world. The very presence of Dementors will drain you out of the colours in your life and fill your mind with hopelessness, despair, fear and all the negative emotions that you can possess. There is only one way to use ‘Expecto Patronus’ against them. Think of the happiest moments in your life and shout ‘Expecto Patronus.’ If your happy thought is really sincere, the ‘Expecto Patronus’ will be very powerful to scare off the Dementors. The happiness, hope and harmony are back in your life then!

Now, let us come back from the wizard world to our own simple lives.  I am not a witch ¹! But there are days in my life when I get attacks from Dementors. These Dementors are no superficial characters but real human beings like me whose very actions and words can fill my mind with negative emotions. Initially I used to run away and try to shut the doors of my world to them. But some of these Dementors are really powerful and could filter in through small gaps. 

I am not here to discuss about the Dementors in my life but about the ‘Expecto Patronums’ that help me during dementor attacks. Three years before, I was totally shattered in an afternoon after getting a particularly insinuating call from a dementor. My friend understood my condition with just a glimpse and her words stand as the first and most powerful ‘Expecto Patronus’  for me ever since.

Be like a wall! They will throw all the rotten eggs at you and stand like a wall. Never respond and care about what they tell.  After some time they only will be covered in the dirt created by them.

It was very difficult to follow these words. But I did as she said. In the uncontrollable moments I took upon my anger on my husband who can completely understand me. The result was unexpected! The frequency of rotten eggs deteriorated and peace found way to my life again.

Here, I mean that the frequency of dementor attack reduced. But it hasn’t vanished completely from my life. In between I also enriched my ‘Expecto Patronus’ with many happy moments in the company of my good.  I started to boost up my confidence level by clinging to any kind word or encouragement that came on my way.

It was then that I moved away from India and all my friends to Riyadh. Totally unexpected, the life at Riyadh provided me with rich and happy moments. As a family, we rekindled the warmth and togetherness between us. The dementor attack almost became zilch.

Life almost fell back to a normal track. It was then I started getting the superficial dementor attacks. During my idle time, all the Dementors from my past started to attack my mind through memories. Whoever said that “an idle mind is a devil’s workshop” meant it aptly. Initially, I scared off these dementor memories by rigorously engaging in household duties and cooking experiments. However, as days went by, these tasks became routines and dementor memories peeped in again.

There I decided to enrich my “Expecto Patronus” again. I started to draw happy thoughts associated with each dementor attack. For instance when I remember my childhood difficulties, I also think of the walks with my mother and sister back from school. When I remember my low academic performances during Pre-Degree I think of the academic success I gained after that. When I remember some Dementors in my college days, I also think of those friends who made my life truly fulfilling and so forth... The dementor attacks again deteriorated at this stage.

Above all these, “Expecto Patronus’ grew immensely stronger with little Shreya. Her love, trust and confidence in me gave a new dimension to my life. For the first time, I knew the meaning of love from which I don’t expect anything. As I pamper, play and even get angry with her; they are happy moments in my life.

Then, again..... There started dementor attacks not in memories but in real life! This time the attack was stronger than usual.

It was a time when my mother and sister were advising me to practice what I always cherished. Write, write and write! Though not confident in writing any more, I started again to jot down. The result was miraculous. As I wrote down each line, a new energy came into me and I got peace. As I got a word of inspiration from my husband, sister and friends, I became confident that there are many more happy moments to enrich my “Expecto Patronus.’

Now, the present day is such a one with a dementor attack. This article has become a strong ‘Expecto Patronus’ for me today. I realize though I may face many more dementor attacks in my life, there will also be happy moments to make my ‘Expecto Patronus’ more powerful. I realize that none's life is free from dementor attacks. I may not be able to provide you all with an “Expecto Patronus” to scare off those Dementors. But the above methods really work wonders in my life.  I just had an intense longing to jot it down at the moment. I would also like to hear about your “Expecto Patronums.”

 1. I consider the word ‘witch’ in the positive sense ever since I read Harry Potter.

A Suicide Note From Riyadh...

Now that you know I'm trapped sense of elation
You'd never dream of
Breaking this fixation
You will squeeze the life out of me

(Time Is Running Out: Sylvia Plath)

It seems, this is the feeling most of the people feel before committing suicide.

A girl named Shreya committed suicide in Riyadh, just two weeks before writing this article. Hailed from a country that contributes to more than 10% in the world’s suicide rate, this news was nothing new to me. I have learned to easily flip away through this type of news. However this teenager’s death somehow got into my mind until now.

I never knew the girl and her family but frequents with their family friends. The girl’s name is ‘Shreya’ as of my little one. People who conveyed the news to me assert that the deceased teenager was a smart girl with mastery in dance, anchoring and studies. However a casual scolding from her parents prompted her to take this deathly step.

It seems, Shreya never wanted to commit suicide. It seems she didn’t even put a loop at both ends of the shawl that she had used to hang herself. She was with an aim to scare her parents off and make them feel guilty for their scolding. But the time for her to complete the life had come at that moment.

We can in a way tell, “It’s all fate!” 

We can also tell, “These teenagers, they don’t even know the value of their parents’ love. How foolish!"

Almost all parents have these worries “The present day’s adolescents are changing. They don’t like advice. How can we correct them?”

Every day one or another teenager commits suicide for low marks in examination, love (infatuation?) failure, as result of scolding from parents and for reasons we can’t even imagine!!! The poor parents stand helpless mourning or dreading the loss of their most valuables.

Once a teenager commits suicide, there are many fingers that point towards parents too-for lack of attention, over expectation, over pampering etc... Some of them are well pointed out too. But one

aspect no one can deny. Most of the parents didn’t want the death of their teenager. Then where did they fail?

The Psychologists Foundation working in teenage suicide tendencies unanimously agree on an aspect of modern parents. They are confused parents! They don’t want to be dominating as their predecessors and act their best to be the pals of their children. They’ll play, sing, talk and do whatever they can do with the child. There may not be any restrictions till they reach their teenage.

However as the children step into adolescence most of the parents are scared. As they start to hear the modern teenage secrets, the old traditional parent takes a rebirth in them. They sometimes lose their tough challenge to be a pal for their kid and kick back! The trouble starts then! The teenager start to believe that they can no longer trust their parents and the rebellion begins.

There are many manuals that suggest how to deal with parent-teenage rifts. However many psychologists suggest that the dealings should start from the root. It’s always better to be an honest pal to your teenager than a good faced friend. Let your kid realize from the beginning that you also will get hurt, angry and unreasonable at times.  Even though you are ready to support them, let them realize they must plough their own fields. Let them understand that if they fall down, you’ll give them moral support to stand by themselves.

And please remember that I never lied
And please remember
how I felt inside now honey
You gotta make it your own way
But you'll be alright now sugar
You'll feel better tomorrow
Come the morning light now baby

(Guns n Roses: Sylvia Plath)

When the teenagers commit suicide, we tend to call them ‘irresponsible.’ They are not! They are ignorant than being ‘irresponsible.’ They haven’t seen the world other than their school, tuition centers, hang out places and homes. They feel that ‘it’s their life.’ They can’t imagine a world other than this! 

The best way to solve this dilemma is to ‘let them dream!’ Let them understand that teenage is the last step of their family life with you. Soon, they’ll have to fly out to make their own nests on new branches. If you encourage them to envisage a world of their own and work hard towards it, you can also ask them to put aside the recent troubles as thorns in the path.

Till now, I’ve spoken about how the parents should deal with the issue. But here is a short note for my little sisters and brothers too. It’s true that everyone in this world has thought about suicide at least once in their lives. However, if that thought strikes your mind, just think of a happy moment or dearest person in your life. It’s a very hard and courageous act to do, but tomorrow is yours!

Afterword: The God’s Own Country’s suicide rate is thrice to the national suicide rate. Everyday minimum 28 people commit suicide in Kerala.  However, thanks to the work of many social welfare organizations, mental health authorities and NGOs, the rate have reduced from 30.8 per Lakh (Hundred Thousand)  to 25.5/ Lakh(Hundred Thousand) during the period from 2003 to 2009. Let us hope that a suicide free society. (Courtesy: http://www.ksmha.org/suicide.html) 

This article has focused only on the teenage suicide tendencies.